This post is different from my normal postings. This post, I've questioned about even writing. But this post is real life and though most of my posts are upbeat, rosey, and fun, life sometimes throws you curve balls and you have to handle them the best way you can.
Justin and I had another miscarriage this week.
Yes, it sucks! Yes, it was painful! But, yes, we can move on.
The reason why I write this blog is to document ("khronicle") our lives at each significant, and sometimes that means painful, moment, so that Charlotte can look back onto this one day and learn about the love we have for her and for our family.
As we all know, a baby is an idea before it's anything. And that idea is very powerful.
Do I really want an infant right now? Do I really want to be sleep deprived? And do I really want to wake up at all hours of the night for feedings? Probably NOT, but what I DO WANT is a sibling for Charlotte! And she wants one really bad! She often talks about "my brother and my sister." Sometimes her brother "Connor" lives in Canada, and mostly she can't remember her sister's name, but that idea is in her head too.
What I can promise you sweet Charlotte, is that your daddy and me aren't giving up hope. We truly believe that God will bless us one day with another child, a sibling for you. In this life, we think we have our own plans, but they are never our own. And though I question why God would have me go through this yet again, I have faith that He has something better planned for us. In the meantime, we are going to continue loving you more and more each day and thank God that He made us a wonderful family of 3. And, maybe by the time we have another child, you'll be the age to babysit....
And I know you'll just LOVE that!
4 comments:
erica, i'm so very sorry. it's still a loss and still very hard. i'll be praying for y'all.
how beautiful! You are such a wonderful mommy - one of the best I personally know...and Justin such a great daddy....Charotte is one lucky girl Keep up the attitude you just stated and God will take care of you! xxx000
Erica-I know how hard it is. Your comments are beautiful and show your truly loving and lovely nature.
Kitty
Erica - thanks for sharing this with us. I will be praying for y'all! God is so good and His will and timing are perfect! He will give you what you ask for or something that He knows is even better for you! I know how you feel with the wondering why things happen. I could not possibly count how many times I have stomped my foot and demanded to know "why" from the creator of the universe! I think I am a little more humble now and I try hard to trust instead. Sending you much love and I hope you will feel the prayers I am sending up for peace and comfort!
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